Twenty Years of Live Through This

I Swear That I Would Die for You

[Twenty Years of Live Through This]

by: Nikki Lomax

Live Through This. Hole’s second album title was eerily prophetic. Entering the recording studio with the rest of the band on October 8th 1993, Courtney Love had no idea exactly how much she would have to live through. She and husband Kurt Cobain had already suffered slander in the press, their newborn daughter being taken away, and heroin addiction. But by the time Live Through This was released, Kurt would be dead and the entire landscape of Courtney’s life would be changed.

Courtney had eagerly sought fame for most of her life, and with the release of Hole’s first album had finally begun to experience it. But fame had it’s dark underbelly, and the band’s sophomore album reflected that. Live Through This is and album about getting everything you ever wanted and finding it’s not as sugary sweet as you had hoped. When Courtney sings “I want to be the girl with the most cake” in ‘Doll Parts’, you can hear the exhaustion in her voice.

Hole’s debut album Pretty On The Inside had been less listener friendly, full of rage and distortion. Live Through This is easier on the ears but by no means watered down. It brims with themes of female anger and pain, suffering for your success and then feeling used by it. (“Every time that I sell myself to you, I feel a little bit cheaper than I need to”, the opening lines of ‘Asking For It’) Courtney’s husband had felt a similar distaste for newfound fame, resulting in Nirvana’s In Utero. While In Utero had been meant to alienate fans of Nevermind, Live Through This was meant to draw in listeners who had perhaps been put off by Pretty On The Inside. While Kurt could push people away to little consequence, Courtney still had to work to cultivate favor.

Motherhood, with all it’s trials and tribulations, also brought a new life to Live Through This that had not existed on Pretty On The Inside. The theme of ‘milk’ was carried over from the first album to the second, but it bore even more weight and symbolism now that Courtney was actually a mother. The pain of Frances’ removal from her custody is especially evident on ‘I Think That I Would Die’. First Courtney laments that “there is no milk” then cries “Where is my baby? I want my baby” with anguish that is almost palpable.

All in all it is no surprise that Live Through This has remained such a well loved album even over the span of twenty years. It is a beautifully crafted work both lyrically and musically. It is also a testament to the talent of Hole and the strength of Courtney Love as a woman in rock.